I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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