Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
