I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
