theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
