In the future we'll all be gay
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize