i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
