she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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