FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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