They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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