I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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