i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
