just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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