the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
