I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
tell me about the fingering
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