The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
