This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The Olympian is in my bed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
