"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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