All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
