it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize