I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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