o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Damn victory sex feels great
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
