it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You pole danced in your parka.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
