I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
