You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
