I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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