I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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