yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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