new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I could fuck to npr.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
