Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
