Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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