i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize