Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize