it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
