oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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