How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
