Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
