I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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