Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
