I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
