shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
