I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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