Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
