He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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