He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
