What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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