Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
