I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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