I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
