i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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