My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
