i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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