I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
