some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have fence marks all over my body
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
