Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
