There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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