we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's the barista slut.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
