I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
